Stupid Things Women Say

” I think it has to be said women have a very ‘unique’ way of looking at life and it’s problems, and i am constantly amazed at what can come out of a womans mouth, hers is a list of my top 5 favourite statements of logic that have come from women I know.

1. ‘Women would do just fine on this earth without men!’

Bollocks! I have never heard of anything more absurd than this statement, it has come from many women I know and it still manages to cause arguments, the first line of defense when men say ‘you need men to have babies’ is a reply that deserves nothing than a belly roll of laughs ‘we have sperm banks!’ I mean come on, what kind of world would it be to live in when all you lonely women have to Que at the pay as you go sperm bank to get a pipet full of baby gravy shoved up your quim! and besides when all the sperm has ran out what then? will you resort to mutated babies made from cow sperm? no because it’s an utterly stupid comment to make, you would die out within a century.

2. ‘I have trained my man well’

Most of the time women say this in jest and no harm is meant by it, but for a lot of women they believe they have trained their men to do house work, cleaning, cooking and such that they feel proud that they have brought a man up from the dregs of society to a well polished, trained cleaning machine, well its bollocks, because sadly love we are quite able to cook, clean and maintain a house just as much as you are, we just don’t find it interesting to talk about Mr sheen and fucking toilet duck, get over yourself.

3. ‘If women ruled the world there would be no wars‘

Why? because you think you could change every countries views on religion and poverty the 2 main causes of war? no you can’t an neither can we, if women ruled the world every man would have a shackle and would be forced to jack off into a collection shoot daily, candy floss machines, and vending machines with free shoes would adorn the streets and puppies dressed in outfits would guard buckingham palace. And no wars? pah! you would be bitching at each other within a week before one accidentally fires a nuke whilst painting her nails.

4. ‘Women can do the same as a man can and better’

There are some things that women do that men can’t, the obvious ones are give birth, produce milk and bleed from there genitals on a monthly cycle, these I cannot argue with. But when women say things like ‘I can put a shelf up just as good as you can’ it makes me cringe.

5. ‘Men only think about sex and nothing else’

Well actually no love we don’t. Men think about sex a lot but that is because we are genetically programmed to, but it is not all we think about, if we thought about nothing but sex I am pretty sure we would turn into a cabbage very quickly. As far as sex is concerned if we thought about it the same as you do, lovemaking would last an hour and a half on a bed made of rose petals, with cupids shooting liquid love at us from above and wild unicorns parading around the bedroom, there would be not time for work so the economy would collapse and it would be all your fault.