Penis maintenance

” Taking care of your quim stake is paramount, but if like me you believe your a super man and invulnerable to any form of disease because your a god, you need to listen.  Were not invulnerable at all and taking care of Mr happy is crucial, here are some tips to keep your pecker in top shape so you can carry on with a happy normal sex life.

1. Wash regularly

I’m not talking about how to wash in general because we all know how to do that, its about regular hygiene maintenance. The penis secretes dead skin cells on a daily basis which leaves a messy cheesy residue on your bell end (smeg) if not cleaned properly it can cause balantis, Thrush and other problems. Use warm soapy water in a bowl with a few drops of cider vinegar, mix well and wash the penis thoroughly making sure to get under the lip of the bell end with a cotton bud, after cleaning take a clean cloth damped in witch hazel oil and gently massage into the penis, this will help keep it healthy.

2. Check for lumps!

None of us want bollock cancer, so just check yourself at least once every 2 weeks. The best time to check is after a warm bath. Roll your testicles between your hands and gently feel them, both testicles should feel smooth and firm but not hard, it is usual for one to be bigger than the other and hang lower than the other, don’t worry if you feel a lump at the back of the testicle as this may well be the sperm tube called the epididymis and is perfectly normal, if you find any suspicious lumps then go see your doctor as soon as you can, the last thing you want is for your cock to fall off.

3. Genital topiary

OK so this is not ‘essential’ cock maintenance but a little trimming goes a long way. Don’t go mad and shave the whole lot off otherwise you will look like a new born child. Start off with trimming the pubic hairs around the top off your penis with some electric clippers and trim as far back as you dare, you want a nice even trim all over.  Now its time to shave the balls, this is actually easier than you think all it takes is a good sharp razor (Gillette fusion is good for this) and some shaving foam. Normally I wouldn’t recommend 4 blade razors but for ball shaving they are perfect, lather your balls up with the foam and start shaving gently, if you cup the base of your balls and squeeze slightly to bulge them out this helps to get small stubborn hairs. Make sure you rinse thoroughly pat with a dry towel and dust with talc, bobs your uncle, the benefit of shaving your genitals is it will keep them in better hygenic shape but more importantly it makes your cock look bigger!

Stay safe fellas

Adam