10 of the worst album covers ever

Music is great isn’t it? the sound of John Lennon, the haunting chants of enya and the heavy metal drone of Ozzy Osbourne, yes music is a simple pleasure us humans relish, but what about album art? Pretty standard stuff isn’t it? Well no actually it isn’t. I went on an intrepid adventure to find the worst album covers I could find, and folks they are pretty bad, if your are of a queasy nature or of a sensitive disposition then you should probably look away now, if not then enjoy!

What’s the album?

Nice isn’t it? This album is called ‘hefty Fine’ and is by the bloodhound gang, they are a comical alternative punk band, they started out as a rap group but over the years changed their genre.

My thoughts

Well to be honest I feel sorry for the guy, I can just picture his agent telling him he has got his first gig and saying ‘all you gotta do is get naked in a box!’ He reminds me of Phil Jupitus down on his luck.

Would I show it to my nan?

Hell no!

What’s the album?

The album is buy the Christian crusaders made in 1972 and featuring Al Davis, do I know any more than that? No I don’t and neither do I want to…I’m scared.

My thoughts

The only thoughts I can conjure from this album cover is that it is clear to me that the ‘Christian Crusaders’ are all having intercourse with each other, except for the woman, she is kept in the cellar with the mutant they never speak of.

Would I show it to my nan?

Yes, she wouldn’t see what I see.

What’s the album?

The album is called ‘Liebe Mutter’ by some German guy called ‘Heino’ Apparently the words Liebe Mutter means ‘Dear Mother’ so from what I can work out is this album is for his mum….who he murdered with a pick axe (That’s not factually accurate).

My thoughts

This guy is incredibly creepy, he has a serial killer aura about him and I am convinced those flowers he’s holding are actually made from children’s ears, as for the hair? Well he needs to pay a visit to Nicky Clarke.

Would I show it to my nan?

No way, she would keel over

What’s the album?

His name is Jim Post, the album is called ‘I love my life’. Mr Post is an American folk singer/songwriter as has actually acquired a decent amount of success, by that I mean he has released 15 albums.

My thoughts

To me he looks like the guy from ‘my name is Earl‘ taking a shower. He looks utterly depressed, which asks the question ‘Jim Post…..do you really love your life?’.

Would I show it to my nan?

yeah, she would probably fancy him

What’s the album?

This an album called Joyce by er.. Joyce. Joyce is a pastors wife from Texas USA, she is a religious pop singer. Her album includes songs such as ‘I get all excited’.

My thoughts

I think she looks pleasant enough, harmless and gentile.  The problem I have is that I am convinced she is hiding something sinister,a woman with hair like that has an alterior motive!

Would I show it to my nan?

Yes I would, she would probably enjoy listening to it

What’s the album?

The album is prince by prince. We all know and love mr prince, he is a prolific singer/songwriter who has had a string of hits through his career, this one I expect he wants to forget.

My thoughts

To me he looks like a starving homeless Indian boy, or Jack Black’s sidekick from the film ‘Nacho Libre’ The small tuft of hair on his chest, the village people style moustache and his crazy bouffant make him look like a complete t**t.

Would I show it to my nan?

No way she would try an adopt him

What’s the album?

The album is called ‘The reverend in rhythm’ by father Robert White. The album consists of cover songs such as ‘moon river’ and ‘danny boy’ sung by the reverend himself.

My thoughts

This man is the sort of vicar kids nightmares are made of, his charming look and casual smoking makes him appear nice, but we all know its a sinister cover up for his murderous rampages!

Would I show it to my nan?

Yes for a split second, before his glare turns her to stone

What’s the album?

Mr Mc Pooh created this masterpiece aptly called ‘funky as I wanna be’. His real name is Lawrence Lee Thomas, he gained mediocre success with this album just making it into the top 200 album in the states at number 158.

My thoughts

I imagine this guy was the sort of kid at school that thought he was the next big thing, and he probably still does. He has achieved more than me in the music industry, but that doesn’t take away the fact he’s a two bit second rate rap star, Yeah!

Would I show it to my nan?

Yes, I would be curious as to what she would say about mr pooh-man

What’s the album?

The album is called ‘Humanure’ by heavy metal band ‘cattle decapitation’. The band released its first album in 1996 called ‘ten torments of the damned’, this album was released in 2004.

My thoughts

Cows crapping out human remains, I can just imagine now the meetings with artwork companies discussing what they want ‘Yeah we were thinking like maybe having some cows crap out humans, is that possible?’

Would I show it to my nan?

Absolutely, categorically no!

What’s the album?

Absolutely no freaking idea, all I know is the singer is called Kjell Kraghe, apart from that I am at a loss.

My thoughts

This has acid trip written all over it, either that or a really bad photo shop idea. If it was just the sail boats it would pass for a normal album cover, the fact he stuck his stupid overly tanned face in the horizon devalues his credibility by 1000%.

Would I show this to my nan?

No, only because she would go off on a tangent about boating trips