America or Britain? the blokebuddy showdown!
You can’t beat a bit of rivalry, its healthy and promotes patriotism. So today I am going to point out the different things we Brits hate about America, and of course what I think the Americans hate about us. Why? well its good to get things off your chest, even if that American chest is overly huge! Ha! just kidding. Please remember though this post is meant to be humourous and shouldn’d be taken seriously, I mean come on when have you known me to be serious! Enjoy the post and please leave some comments I would love to hear more suggestions.
What the British hate about America
- Your absurdly over sized portions of food
- Your in ability to lose weight
- How nearly all the roads in America are straight and squared into ‘blocks’
- Every sentence sounds like a question
- How every situation seems to warrant a ‘YEAH!’ or a ‘Wooo Hooo!’
- The whiny new york accent
- Falsely claiming credit for stuff you didn’t do, U-571 ring a bell?
- Spelling stuff differently (color, airplane, ass, mustache etc)
- Humongous cars that are completely unnecessary
- The vast amount of money your country has
- Being able to buy a gun in supermarket (grocery store)
- Frat party’s
- The word ‘douchebag’
- How you call trousers ‘pants’
- Paris Hilton
- Beef jerky and corndogs
- Those crazy nut job religious preachers
- Amish
- Getting arrested for ‘Jay walking’ which is essentially crossing the road
- How in your sitcoms the audience laugh at non funny stuff
- Your bacon is rubbish
What America hates about Britain
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Our ridiculous infatuation with tea
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Our accent
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Bad teeth
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Our weather
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How much we talk about the weather
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Fish and chips
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We ’suck’ at football (soccer)
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Were all homosexuals
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Our aristocracy
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Gordon Brown
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Crumpets
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Cucumber sandwiches cut into stupidly small triangles
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Graham Norton…..even I hate him
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Our crap films
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Our crap musicians trying to make it in the US, why can’t the talented ones go over instead!
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The royal family
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Dr who
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Harry Potter
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Our crap burgers
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Rubbish boy bands
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Queuing
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Amy winehouse
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Chavs, pikey’s, gypo’s
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Everywhere you drive or walk there’s a hill
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Spam (tinned meat)
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Marmite
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Lily Allen
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Farmers
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Simon Cowell
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Our indisguisable Scottish and Irish accents
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The Welsh having sex with sheep
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Our free health care, mostly that’s because your annoyed as you have to pay for it
Conclusion:
Well I think I did OK with the stuff America hates about us but I could be completely way off of course!, I would love to hear your comments! please remember though this post is in jest and should not be taken seriously, I love my American cousin’s and the reason for this post is for humour purposes only, just good old British banter! 
And you forgot to mention that Brits are always drunk, fight, cheap and stingy !!!
haha yah we do fight alot, and I think the reason were always drunk is cos our beer is so bloody strong lol
Oh god! I just found some Marmite recently here in Canada. Now I’ve been finding it all over the place here. It’s as if we’ve been invaded. How does anyone actually like that stuff?
haha marmite is ace! i love that stuff, as they so though you either love it or hate it lol
things Americans and British have in common?
the rest of the world hate us, and cant seem to be able to spot out the different between an American tourist and a British one!
both types are fat and wear hawaiin shirts lol
America just sux ass 0.o England ftw!
hoorah! lol
you didnt mention that the english are stuck so far up their own arse and that americans have no morals…at all
haha good point, I’m very stuck up my own arse deffo
The number of grammatical mistakes in this article make me more angry than any of the things you listed about America.
Is that all your worried about? Mate I work really hard to give my readers good quality articles to read and enjoy for free, I ask for nothing in return. I know I don’t have the most amazing English in the world but It’s to a decent standard. The simple solution to your problem is go elsewhere
go Adam! go Adam! hahaha don’t worry we all hate people that for some reason thing they should correct everyone in grammar, i don’t know who gave them that entitlement, but they go around the internet making the posting the same comment everywhere !!!
it must be that they make no mistakes what so ever.
Sounds to me like American pedantry.
Ahh cheers mate! thanks a bunch, yeah it really wound me up this morning, I try to be as professional as I can, but mate I stay up til 2 am some days working on the site, then someone like that picks small faults, really annoys me. Cheers for the uplifting comment matey
I’m American, and personally,
I LOVE Harry Potter, Lily Allen, Graham Norton, and Doctor Who.
I love doctor who lol, one of my fav shows, See this is what I like about these sorts of posts, although meant in humour I have actually learnt a few things from my American cousins, thanks again
hey i love the fact that USA gave us The Twilight Zone
I hope that was sarcastic lol, Twilight is immensely rubbish, there’s a formula Robert Pattinson + Mopey Look= Gay Vampire
Err… Twilight Zone (classic 60’s show they made into a movie) not Twilight (teen-lit books about emo vampires and werewolves to made into movies)
Funny list…although I can’t think of a place where you can buy a gun in a grocery store. I guess if you consider a Walmart Supercenter as a grocery store, that counts. In my state you can’t even buy beer or wine at a grocery store (Free State, my butt).
Although I agree with you on Twilight, she said Twilight Zone, which I think was some surreal TV series from the 80’s possibly. Good article. The one that always gets me is the bad teeth thing. Medical studies have shown that us British actually have the most structurally sound teeth in the world. Americans just see us as having bad teeth because they have a different set of ideas of what makes good teeth. To them, they could have a mouth full of rotted things covered with gleaming porcelain crowns and think their teeth are better than a Brit’s teeth just because he never bothered to get the very slight overlap fixed on a lower incisor. The stereotype is outdated anyway since we now have orthodontics on the NHS when we didn’t way back when they decided we had bad teeth. I sound quite bitter in this comment, I don’t mean to lol. Just pointing some things out.
The squad of 1990 was the best I have seen,including 1966.We lost on sdedun-death penalties in the Semi-Final.There is not much difference in real terms between 06 and 10.
You’d be at home driving in the American south, then. Everywhere you turn there’s a curve or a hill.
Really? lol there’s me thinking all roads in America were blocked, well you learn something new every day! that’s what I love about blogging
thanks
everywhere you turn…there is a curve?
Our roads are all windy, bendy and hilly, something the Americans are not used to, most of there roads are straight and in blocks
Adam,
I don’t think our colonial cousins hate our teeth, I think they love them.
Any time we get one over on them they just think about our teeth and remember their superiority.
It did confuse me a little too, but I did quite a bit of research for this post and I found out quite a lot of Americans seem to mention how bad our teeth are lol, saying that at leats our teeth are real! oooh Adam your on top form today haha!
As an American I’ll mark with a star the ones i agree with
*Our ridiculous infatuation with tea
Our accent
*Bad teeth
Our weather
How much we talk about the weather
Fish and chips
We ’suck’ at football (soccer)
Were all homosexuals
Our aristocracy
Gordon Brown
*Crumpets
*Cucumber sandwiches cut into stupidly small triangles
Graham Norton…..even I hate him
Our crap films
*Our crap musicians trying to make it in the US, why can’t the talented ones go over instead!
The royal family
Dr who
Harry Potter
Our crap burgers
*Rubbish boy bands
Queuing
*Amy winehouse
Chavs, pikey’s, gypo’s
Everywhere you drive or walk there’s a hill
*Spam (tinned meat)
Marmite
Lily Allen
Farmers
*Simon Cowell
Our indisguisable Scottish and Irish accents
-The Welsh having sex with sheep: In america the sheep sex jokes tend to go to the Scottish. Many of us Yanks don’t know what or where Wales is.
*******Our free health care, mostly that’s because your annoyed as you have to pay for it
I love the fact you starred the cucumber sandwiches lol, its a small thing but I knows it bothers you all haha
Graham Norton is actually Irish, born and raised in Cork in Ireland
im brit married to an american guy, and i swear he wrote that list. Plus he would have included our screwy roundabouts
Roundabouts lol, good one especially those ones that look like mini forests
i like our bacon…
well i love ya all and ur accents are all sexy to me
lol so can someone give me a list about what you all hate bout us aussies? lol
Your food is bland and tasteless.
You think it’s cool to headbutt things.
You’re stubborn.
British men are overly uptight about their appearances.
Dr. Who
Things you should have used against us:
Our beer
Walmart
Our meat compared to yours
Our transit system
Our lack of history
Your insults? I’ve been called a growbag???
I like this post a lot.
British humor. Sooo not funny. And the whole kidney pie/blood sausage/weird food. I agree that we Americans have ridiculously large cars and are overweight. Maybe it’s because there’s no blood sausage :Þ
I am married to an American girl. I live between the two countries. That doesn’t mean the atlantic.
What I know about the Americans, and i don’t say this maliciously, is that they are more than happy to believe a lie merely because another American says it, then promote that lie. I have so many emails from the US that are either wholly or partially lies, knowingly written by someone, passed on to others who do not check them out.
I had one from the US about a seagull that steals from a shop on a regular basis. It was supposedly a shop in Manatee, Michigan. Snopes.com lists it as having happened all over America in various emails. None of these Americans trying to say it happened in their towns noticed the British National Lottery sign outside the shop. It actually happened in Scotland, I found the BBC news film of the bird robbing Doritos when the shopkeeper wasn’t looking. Need I say more?
Except GWB’s Weapons of mass destruction etc.
i personally love both, americans and british people, i love the accents and the freelance open minded way you live, i can’t stand the fact that the americans change the spellings of words, it’s pretty annoying but i love everything about the british lol i wish i lived there, no lie. i’m from the caribbean, i’m barbadian (kinda proud of my little island too)
Well missy, let’s have a go about our old penal colony – Aussie land. The good bits.
1, Your support in times of need. You were not late, like some I won’t mention.
2. Bush Tucker Man, don’t see much of him now, pity.
3. I think we get your fish, we have none left.
4. The little island next door that does great lamb.
5. Your accent and slang, it’s a real beaut.
6. How well you have done for a bunch of ex cons.
7. Life gaurds and surf boards, yes we have them.
8. You don’t brag, you don’t need to.
9. Sence of humour, coarse and rough, just as we like it.
10. Your doc’s saved the life of a good friend.
Bad points.
1.Neighbours
2. Neighbours
3. Neighbours
ad on infinitum – something like that.
The way Americans size their clothes. Our size 10 is their size 8. That’s because they are all so fat they make everything a size smaller to make themselves feel better.