Is Your Missus A Social Leper?
”I love my fiance very much, we get on famously and for all her faults being anti social or having difficulty socialising is not one of them, she is smart, sexy and a great laugh, but it wasn’t always like that, I have had some complete morons for girlfriends in the past, one that used to spontaneously cry, another that was obsessed with being strangled in bed and another that used to bang her head on things, so yeah it wasn’t all plain sailing.
The thing is, it may have just been my misfortune, but over the years I have met many women, some were girlfriends, some were just mates, some of these women were complete and utter social lepers, and by social leper I mean someone who can not or will not integrate into a normal social situation, i’ll give you an example:
”You walk hand in hand down to your local KFC with your new loved one, you open the door (she doesn’t say thanks) and as you walk in you see an old school friend. Before you go and order your meal you walk over and say hello, you chat and he introduces his girlfriend to you and your missus, you ask how he has been, at which point he tells you his mum died, an uncomfortable subject on it’s own, when suddenly YOUR girlfriend starts helping herself to your mates girlfriends (who she has just this second met I might add) chips without asking. Peculiar you might think and a complete embarrassment particularly when she didn’t even offer or even give a hint for her to take a chip, let alone a handful. Just so you know this actually happened to me…I swiftly dumped her.”
Don’t be blinkered by blind love!
You have just met the girl of your dreams and all you can think about is her amazing rack..er I mean personality, so you become blind to what is going on around you, take a step back and see if your girl is doing any of the following:
- Laughing like a witch on crack
- Talking to her mum about how she caught and STD from you
- Tells her mates about every single sexual adventure you have been on
- Will argue for a discount at poundland
- Will buy 2 doughnuts from greggs and eat them both at the same time and think it’s funny
- Wipes her nose on her sleeve…..and the dried snot is visible to all that can see
- Farts loudly in a museum then cackles about it
- Thinks Chad Michael Murray is ‘art’
- Says the phrase ‘Oh my god!’ at every single scene of a film in the cinema
- Tells all the people she meets and talks to that you are her ‘love bunny’
These are just a few examples of what a female social leper gets up to, if your missus does more than 2 of these in public its time to have a word. Sit down and explain that there are just some things you don’t do in public especially from a girl. I am a believer in appropriate behaviour for both sexes, for instance I would expect a man to open a door for a woman and pull out a chair for a woman at a restaurant, but I wouldn’t expect a man to pick his nose and flick it at the waiter.
Is your missus a social leper? Has she done something utterly stupid you wondered if she was retarded, did she poo in a hedge on a busy road? Did she shout abuse and spit at a bus driver because he wouldn’t let her on as the bus was full? Let us know your story and leave a comment! we want to hear it!”
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